Is hate a bad thing?

I'm sitting at my desk staring at the third chargeback notification from this horrid client and realizing that if I did indeed have the power to kill with my mind, she'd be dead. And her family would be dead. And their family. And anyone within a 5-mile radius.

I hate this person. To me, she is a poorly evolved reprobate without the ability to function in society, and she should be put down like a sick, tired dog. But more like a dog that you didn't like very much so you make it suffer a bit.

The scary part is that she's a doctor. How someone with the mental acuity of a piece of algae managed to get her medical degree and graduate from residency is beyond me.

This drooling reprobate (one of my favorite phrases) calls to cancel our service two months after becoming a client. We've done almost all of the work, and she just couldn't care less. I explain that we have a cancellation policy that she agreed to, so we can't cancel, and the fucker hangs up on me.

Cut to months later, and we get a chargeback from her credit card processor. I write the most eloquent fucking rebuttal your pretty little eyes have ever seen, and it's denied. I get a nice letter that basically says (I'm summarizing here):

Sorry you poor fucking bastard, but no luck. We're just going to take over $2700 that she paid you and give it back to her. Don't worry your ugly fat head that you did all the work and she agreed to it. Just bend over for a sec, and let's see if we can find something sharp and large - how about this fireplace poker - and just ram it up your ass. Thanks!
Do you know why it was rejected? This is a perfect example of what's wrong with the world today - too many old, traditional, outdated people trying to deal with a world that has evolved beyond them. The reason for rejecting the rebuttal and giving this sniveling malcontent her money back was: There was no proof that she read and agreed to the cancellation policy.

No proof, I say? I call shenanigans! She signed up on our website, provided her personal information, and checked a little box that said: "By checking this box, I state that I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions." And I have her IP address, and proof that it was indeed her.

What does Mastercard say? That since they don't have something signed showing that she read and agreed to the terms and conditions, I'm out of luck.

Signed. Even though it's 100% online. Even though I have her IP address and her private, personal information and proof that it was indeed her and not some impostor. Because Mastercard is fucking outdated.

So now I have to send this to a collection agency, and they're going to have to try to get money from her and I hate her and I want her to die the most painful death possible.

I would like her to drive over a cliff, land upside down in an anthill, and be paralyzed from the waist down. Then, I'd like ants to eat her legs while she watches in horror, screaming until she loses her voice, and straining so hard that her eyeball pops out and rests against her cheek. Then she gets so hungry that she eats her own eyeball, chokes on it, and dies of asphyxiation right as paramedics arrive.

Is that wrong?

3 Thoughts:

Blogger Beth said...

sounds like fun! ;)

3/31/2006 1:01 PM  
Blogger Su said...

Man, that really sucks!

Unfortunately these days, income-levels and university degrees can no longer be used as an indication of good breeding.

Hope you get your money back and I hope that all the charges of the collection agency get billed to her!

3/31/2006 4:19 PM  
Blogger Avitable said...

Yeah, thanks. We'll see what happens.

3/31/2006 4:20 PM  

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