Avitable-isms: Tact is for the weak: 'Tis Easter and my prayers have been answered.

'Tis Easter and my prayers have been answered.

On the holy day of July 18th in the year of our lord Bruce Campbell 2006 (2006 BC), the full series of "The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr." will be released on DVD.

Let me read to you from the gospel of Brisco: "Hired by local robber barons, Harvard Law Graduate Brisco County, Jr. searches for the members of the infamous John Bly gang, the same men who killed his father, a famous marshal and western legend. Accompanied by his one-time rival and fellow bounty hunter Lord Bowler, Brisco rides through the West trying to bring his father's killers to justice. Along the way, he encounters mysterious golden orbs with strange abilities and colorful characters who help or hinder his mission as he hunts down the Bly gang one by one."

Join me in praying to the chinned one and his holy sarcasm:

Give me some sugar
Shop S-Mart
Hail to the king, baby
This is my boomstick
Aaaamen.

0 Thoughts:

|

I am Avitable. Currently, I live in Orlando, where I collect comic books and masturbate to midget horse porn. I am married, and my wife lets me be the true geek that I am. I fear vegetables and sunlight. I love my friends and family dearly and hate everyone else tremendously.

AICN

The grandfather of entertainment websites.
eBaum

Immature humor stolen from other people. What's not to like?
Fark

It's not news. It's Fark.
Fazed

Humor, videos, mind-boggling games, and immature trolls bashing each other online.
Filmrot

When it's updated, it's a nice source for movie news and discussion.
Superhero Hype!

Geek time.
Useless Junk

Mainly useful for the porn.
TWOP

Television Without Pity is by far the most cynical, snarkiest, rudest, most obnoxious site on the web. And I love it!
Acme

Geek discussion board. Comics, movies, you name it.
Avitable.com

My personal site.
Myspace

Yes. I'm on Myspace. I use it to find 12-year old girls to have sex with.
Newsarama

Lookee! More comic news!

My Blog Directory

Subscribe in a reader

This blog is the personal property and private opinion of Adam Heath Avitable. This blog is a work of fiction, the names in this blog are fictitious, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. On a less serious note, if you're reading this, you agree to send me three dollars for every word you have read. Just by reading this far, you owe me $111.00 now. If you are wearing pants or any type of pant-like clothing, you must remove them immediately. This blog is pants-free. If you're sitting in your underwear and socks, you're ok by me. You further agree that you have a sense of humor, you're not easily offended, and you can quote at least 28 lines from "The Simpsons" ("Me fail English? That's unpossible!" doesn't count). If you know me pre-blog, you must comment on at least one article. It's only fair. I'd do it for you. C'mon, just do it. Come on! Come on! Come on! If you're new to this blog, then you'd better fucking comment. Why bother reading it otherwise, jerk? If you have any amateur porn on your computer of you and your loved ones engaging in interesting activities, please send it to me immediately. You will get nothing in return. If while readi1ng this blog, you laugh hysterically, fall off your seat, pee just a little in your pants, and pull down your monitor on your head, I'm not liable. If you get up in disgust and walk away, completely unamused, trip on the mass of wires next to your computer and end up with your mouse lodged in your right eyesocket, I'm not liable. If you're reading this blog and you fall asleep because it sucks horribly, and you land facefirst on your keyboard and have a permanent "Y" stuck in your forehead, I'm not liable, but send me a pic so I can laugh at you. If you suffer emotional distress from my laughing at you, then you can sue. VERY IMPORTANT!! If you have, at any point in your life, participated in or enjoyed any of the following activities (watched wrestling, visited a NASCAR track more than once, watched Jeff Foxworthy, finger fucked your cousin, know one or two country music stations by their call sign, name and slogan, eaten roadkill, purchased furniture or electronics from rent-to-own, slept in your own puke for more than one consecutive evening, or worn a baseball cap backwards), you must close this window, shut off your computer, grab the nearest utensil, and shove it directly into your belly button. Then lift straight up, twisting a little, until you feel a slight *twinge*. If you've read this far, you can Paypal me $1266.00 now.