New gator overlords?

I've cut the article to the relevant parts, but you can click the title above to go to the full text:

. . . Candy Frey says a 3-foot gator confronted her golden retriever at her East Manatee, Fla., home.

She and he daughter were able to push the creature through the dog door of her patio, but she also got her gun and opened fire.

"I was running on so much adrenaline," Frey, 48, a former U.S. Marine aviation technician, told the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. "I just freaked out and shot him – boom, boom, boom, boom."

She had noticed her dog was bleeding from the head when she first saw the animals scuffling.

"I have to take this guy out," Frey recalled thinking. "You can't wait to see how long it's going to sit there."

Frey told the paper the gunshot wounds appeared to self-heal, and a wildlife officer who came to her home put the gator back in the lake.

The latest incidents come amid a rash of fatal attacks in Florida, where three women were mauled and killed by alligators in the past week . . .

Okay, is it obvious to everyone else that aliens who look like gators have obviously taken over Florida in their bid to rule the world? I mean, let's look at the evidence:

(a) Three actual deaths and an increasing number of gator attacks that is higher than in the last 60 years;
(b) The gunshot wounds appeared to self-heal;
(c) Alligator is an anagram for "gloat liar" which is obviously implying that the alligators have been lying to us all along and now they're gloating.

I, for one, am going to make friends with the crocodiles so they'll protect me when the alligator invasion comes. You'll see!

2 Thoughts:

Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

uh, anyone who decides to reside in a place named 'manatee' anything is automatically susceptible to invasions by water creatures.

5/18/2006 9:04 AM  
Blogger Kal said...

I'm not sure that Croc alliance is going to help:

"In terms of physical differences the easiest way to tell the difference between the two is that a crocodile has a very long, narrow, V-shaped snout, while the alligator's snout is wider and U-shaped. Because of the wide snout of the alligator it packs more crushing power to eat prey like turtles that constitute part of its diet. The narrow crocodile snout, although still very powerful, is not really suited for prey like turtles but is very versatile for fish and mammals."

So you pick the weak sister of the distusting water reptile family, plus one known for eating Mammals...

Remind me: why does anyone live in Florida?

All we have to deal with in New England is mosquitos (although some of those are as large as gators, it seems...)

5/22/2006 9:24 AM  



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