It's pretty amusing reading. A couple of excerpts:
1. Goleta, CA
Following a circus rodeo act inside the Earl Warren Showgrounds, a man wearing a wet shirt doused in alcohol was having trouble leaving the arena. At 7:30 p.m. the obviously intoxicated man approached a patrolling deputy, but not before falling.
When the Spanish-speaking man, 33, was asked how long he’d been in the United States, he replied, “Three beers.” Unable to care for himself, he was arrested for public intoxication and taken to jail.
Found in the Goleta Valley Voice
2. Palm Beach, FL
On Thursday, May 4, a caller reported that her dentist refused to treat her further and would not return her teeth. The complainant became verbal and was escorted off of the property.
Found in the Weekday Newspaper
3. Chadron, NE
1:36 a.m. Caller from the 900 block of Chadron Ave. advised of a number of subjects in front of a residence across the street from caller’s residence possible starting a fight. Caller advised there was one subject who appeared to be duct taped to a tree. Spoke with resident who advised everything was ok and dispersed party. Resident was given verbal warning.
Found in the Chadron Record