• What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch. I love Ranch. On fries. On a burger. Anywhere.


• What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Carl's Jr. The West Coast equivalent of Hardees kicks ass.


• What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Local: Fleming's Steakhouse - they have a great Filet that I get Oscar style with parmesan peppercorn mashed potatoes that are amazing. National: Window's Steak and Martini in downtown Los Angeles. While the food is excellent, there is better food out there. But the view of downtown at night is amazing (when there's no smog) and it's always a fun place to eat. Global: I've never left the US, so I have no idea.


• On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 20% minimum - usually 30-35%.


• What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Steak. Filet, cooked Medium Rare. Mashed Potatoes.


• Name three foods you detest above all others. Mushrooms, Olives, and all Vegetables.


• What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Sweet and Sour Pork or Chicken


• What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni, Ground Beef, and Cheddar.


• What do you like to put on your toast? I don't eat toast. If I did, though, it would be peanut butter.


• What is your favorite type of gum? Extra's Strawberry Watermelon Sugar Free Gum. I order it by the case and go through a pack every two days.

TECH-OLOGY

• Number of contacts in your cell phone? 22.


• Number of contacts in your email address book? 800.



• What is your wallpaper on your computer? I have none. It's a plain black background.


• What is your screensaver on your computer? People still use screensavers?


• Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? 120 GB is currently being used to contain all of the rampant nudity dancing around on my computer.


• How many land line phones do you have in your house? Four.



• How many televisions are in your house? Two. They're old, and I plan on upgrading to plasma once the technology is a few years older so they can work the kinks out.


• What kitchen appliance do you use the least? I don't really use the kitchen. I eat out for almost every meal.


• What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? I don't listen to the radio at all. (I'll just copy what Dave said because it's true).


• How many sex toys do you own that require batteries? Less than 100.

BI-OLOGY

• What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My evil smile.


• Are you right handed or left handed? Right.


• Do you like your smile? Sometimes.


• Have you ever had anything removed from your body? I had a penis growing out of my elbow that we removed when I was 13. Boy, was that embarrassing in school. People called me "Dickbow".


• Would you like to? No.


• Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? Well, I call the bathroom my library. So yes.


• Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Hearing. I can hear an idiot coming from a mile away.


• When was the last time you had a cavity? Four or five years ago.


• What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? Myself. Other than that, groceries, maybe?


• Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope. I don't think I've ever been unconscious in my entire life.

MISC-OLOGY

• If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Sure. I'd plan out the rest of my life and start killing the people who need killin'.


• If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? Thor. Or Thundarr. Or Superman. Farnsworth. Yeah, Farnsworth.


• How do you express your artistic side? Blogging. Writing. And of course, I appear twice weekly at the local theater doing interpretive dance.


• What color do you think you look best in? Red. or Black.


• How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? I think I'd last as long as I needed to.


• Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Yes. I've even swallowed non-food items on purpose!


• If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? I refuse to answer this on grounds that it may be creepy.


• How often do you go to church? Never.


• Have you ever saved someone’s life? I hope not. Then I'd be obligated to them for life.


• Has someone ever saved yours? Nope.

DARE-OLOGY

For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.

• Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Sure. Why the hell not?


• Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Only if there's no moustache, no tongue, and it's an effeminate-looking man.


• Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? Hmm. Who's the top and who's the bottom? That's the most important question. Maybe for $100K.


• Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?Yes. I'll do it right now for a nickel and a Big Mac.


• Would you never blog again for $50,000? Sure.


• Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Without any hesitation.


• Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? No. I hate hot sauce.


• Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? Yes. I'll do it right now for a nickel and a Big Mac!


• Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? Sure. Sounds fun.


• Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? No. Never! Fuck you! Die! That's my baby! I love TV!