My wife and I cleaned out the double-wide the best we could, put the pit bulls in their cages, and dusted off the vinyl card table. We got the good china out - the stuff we got with Happy Meals from McDonald's - and put out some tap water and Orange Puffs.
Mr. Fab was wearing a hot pink leotard that left nothing to the imagination. He had an erection that he kept stroking like it was a pet throughout the evening. We couldn't help but stare.
CP arrived in a horse-drawn carriage and had a harem of young men in banana hammocks lift her out of the carriage and carry her to the front door. Once inside, the harem formed a chair upon which she perched. The tiara on her head had to have about a thousand little diamonds on it.
Once CP arrived (over an hour late), Mr. Fab and I had already done the whole circle jerk/mutual masturbation thing three or four times, so we had to put ice on our respective crotches while CP did this weird little erotic dance with a boa that was last seen in Mr. Fab's infamous dance video. I've never seen anyone deep throat something that long, though, so I was pretty impressed.
Once our crotches had cooled off, we played some naked Twister, then lounged by the sewage pond behind the double-wide and tried to see who could fart the alphabet. CP won. She got to G before she accidentally . . . well, let's just say that we needed to repaint that side of the trailer anyways.
During this entire event, our spouses hid in the bathroom and plotted their escape. They didn't realize that I have a hidden camera in the bathroom for the times when I invite schoolchildren inside to use the potty, so we heard all of their attempts and foiled their plans easily by letting the pit bulls out.
We capped off the evening by drinking champagne first down CP's cleavage, then Mr. Fab's cleavage, and then mine. I gave them each an ebony-colored butt plug to remember me by, and they were on their way.
CP and Mr. Fab got a picture taken of the three of us before the night's end. I didn't have my camera, so I don't have a picture. However, to the best of my drunken memory, I sketched an artist's rendition. And here it is (click it for the bigger, clearer version)!
Filed in: avitable, avitable-isms, pointless drivel, certifiable princess, orgy
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