July 2001 email, before the fucker could even spell my name correctly:
"Adam Evitable, a new independent contractor (who has proven he may be on his way to being a permanent employee of our firm (someone with vision and committed to high-level achievement--a superstar achiever like all of is), has been doing a great deal of work on search engine submission and so forth over the past several weeks. Adam has also been doing a lot of work with law.com and other sites regarding our ads on law.com and other sites. Adam is also the designer of our catchy email signatures. I am impressed.
In my opinion, Adam has helped us increase our traffic through his excellent use of lawjobs.com and other advertising submission services over the past few weeks. However, Adam has shown some real skill in dealing with Yahoo! and others recently.
Adam, who is a graduate of Washington University in St. Louis (one of the most prestigious law schools in the United States), is interested in the interaction between the Web and law and is the author of our "Interview Guide" currently on our web site. Adam has also designed several impressive web sites on his own.
We are very lucky to have Adam on board. Here, in Adam, is someone who understands the importance of the interaction of law, trechnology and the Web. Adam actually sought us out because he identified with what we are doing. Adam, I am really hoping you have found a home here.
Adam's recent results in his time at our firm have been excellent and he is really trying to use his insight here to make a super effort. As aluded to above, Adam is also the designer of our banner ads with the moving XXX logo which pops up with our address. Additionally, Adam has also done some work developing XXX Books, a part of our site we will implement shortly. Adam has shown some real abilities and I hope each of you will take the time to know him and thank him for his efforts.
Additionally, I should add that Adam has worked with Andrew very well. As each of you may know, Andrew has been doing some really profound programming work for us over the past several weeks and learning a great deal. Andrew also shows a profound understanding and allegiance to what we are doing here that I hope each of you can appreciate:
Andrew's abilities to learn sophisticated programing are nothing short of astonishing. Without Andrew, I do not think our recent entry into Findlaw would have been possible.
In all respects, I think that Andrew and Adam are doing an extremely good job together ... Andrew's abilities to teach Adam about what he is working on and knows and Adam's abilities to learn have been very symbiotic. However, the point of this email is Adam's most recent achievement, His most recent achievement is fantastic:
I am happy to report that we are now RANKED #1 of all the recruiting firms in the World for Yahoo! searches for "attorney recruiting" on their search engine. While this result is based both upon Adam's prodding of Yahoo! and their independent investigation of our site, I believe that the results Adam has achieved are nothing short of remarkable. In short, whatever Adam did should increase our traffic significantly. This means ... we make more placements and can HELP more people who deserve the level of service we provide. Helping more people only increases my good feeling about not only this business, but a life that is meaningful and has some substance. I hope each of you feel this way as well.
Let's all learn from Adam's example of how to be #1.
As I am sure each of you know, Yahoo! is the most popular search engine in the World. Please congratulate Adam on his excellent work. Adam, please keep up the good work! Regards,
Asshole Incarnate of all that is Unholy, Evil and Stupid"
I am Avitable. Currently, I live in Orlando, where I collect comic books and masturbate to midget horse porn. I am married, and my wife lets me be the true geek that I am. I fear vegetables and sunlight. I love my friends and family dearly and hate everyone else tremendously.Join the Church!
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Yikes! That was a surprisingly nice e-mail... :o
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i dunno, it seems like it is supposed to be a positive recommendation of you, but the descriptive manner and terminalogy actually greatly underrepresents your actual knowledge & skill...even tho its the AUTHOR'S inability to articulately communicate these traits that diminishes their impact...oh god, catholic school really did make me a writing nazi...i am so lame
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