I've currently got 60 or 70 auctions running on eBay, where I'm auctioning off all of my old Maxims and Playboys, to make room in my office.

Anyways, I sold about 15 Playboys to this one guy, and he sent me a creepy message:

I received the magazines today and have enjoyed looking at them. I can't wait to really enjoy them tonight. I left positive feedback for you. Thanks for the great magazines.

Great. Thanks. I really wanted to know about your plans for furious masturbation tonight. Fucker.

14 Thoughts:

Blogger Dave2 said...

Thanks for the great entry today. I have enjoyed looking at it. I can't wait to REALLY enjoy it tonight when I get back to my hotel room after work.

5/24/2006 2:11 PM  
Blogger Poppy Cede said...

Avi, you're so funny. What did you expect from selling Playboys on eBay??? :)

I have a ton of Maxims, but I don't want to sell. I wish I could use a transporter to send them to you for free so you could sell them (for you to get money, not for me to have you sell stuff for me, that's just RUDE).

5/24/2006 2:26 PM  
Blogger Su said...

Heavens forbid the guy should try to sell them on eBay at a later date!

"Slightly used magazines, in good condition. Some pages may be stuck together."

5/25/2006 6:25 AM  
Blogger Avitable said...

Dave: Sexy!

Poppy: You should sell them - I get between $4-6 per issue, and sometimes people pay as much as $15-20 per issue!

Su: I bet he cuts out centerfolds, glues them to pillows that he's cut a hole in and fucks them on a nightly basis. That's my guess.

5/25/2006 8:14 AM  
Blogger Sera Skywalker said...

I considered selling each page of the Bible individually, but I guess sex still sells better.
... and if you feel like you have one Playboy/Maxim edition you really want to give away for free, I'm all up for it.

5/25/2006 8:34 AM  
Blogger Avitable said...

I actually just shipped one winning auction to Germany.

Email me your address and I'll send you one.

adam (at) avitable (dot) com

5/25/2006 8:35 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

lmao! well, at least he's honest! TOO honest!

5/25/2006 10:30 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I just hope he's not actually reading them. I don't get used porn, we've got several adult book exchanges which just freak me out, I'll take my porn new thanks. You can also get how to sex books in the library but you have to ask at the information desk.

"hello 80 year old volunteer may I have one of the sex books please?"

5/26/2006 9:37 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

FYI - I too will be molesting myself tonight. Okay, now you can die happy. :p

5/27/2006 5:21 PM  
Blogger Avitable said...

Dawn: Actually, "too honest" would be saying "I'm going to get naked, whip out my cock, stroke it with the coconut aloe I have, and stick carrots up my ass while reading your Playboys tonight". So it could have been much, much worse.

Carolyn: Porn should always be new. Believe it (or not), but I don't look at the pictures in Playboy very often. I actually enjoy the articles and interviews. If I want porn, I don't want some airbrushed softcore shit!

Grant: Thank you for making my evening oh-so-much better.

5/27/2006 8:15 PM  
Blogger Julianne said...

my mom wants to auction her old 45's on ebay...i said i would do it for her....dont know how tho lol any advice

5/28/2006 9:23 AM  
Blogger Avitable said...

Try this.

5/28/2006 9:27 AM  
Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

that's what you get for selling to people in Zimbabwe

5/31/2006 2:55 PM  
Blogger Avitable said...


5/31/2006 2:57 PM  



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