I was at a friend's house in high school, eating a microwaveable beef and cheese burrito. I was also making some chocolate milk, and accidentally squirted the Hershey's syrup all over the plate of heated burrito. Not one to waste food, I dug in and thoroughly enjoyed it. It's delicious, and I'll give $5 to anyone who eats it and sends me proof (photographic or videographic evidence).

I have not made it official, but I should. Good thinking, Tug. Thanks!

Lengthwise or widthwise?

Since there was no question mark, I don't think this qualifies as a question. Sorry - thanks for playing!

Oh, ok, I'll answer. My favorite position is known as the Flying Avitable. The woman is facing downward, with her arms and legs tied together in a hog-tied fashion, which makes her butt stick straight up in the air. The man runs in, wearing nothing but a Superman cape, and does a flying leap, landing and performing perfect vaginal penetration in one smooth move. Ejaculation happens almost instantaneously, and the woman is left to fend for herself.

And I can't answer your other question on the grounds that my wife would get mad if all of the women readers I had started showing up at my door asking to see it.

Before starting my own company, I worked for one of the stupidest people on the planet. He managed to lie, cheat and steal, commit several felonies, and still make tons of money, and karma hasn't yet caught up with him. The last time I talked to him was via email, when I resigned. My email was a very professional, courteous email letting him know that I had decided to leave the company because I felt the direction of the company was slipping. He never replied, but within five minutes, my email address didn't work and my database access was removed. That's the type of piece of shit he really is.

1. I'm a bit claustrophobic, and though I can handle heights, I'm still a bit acrophobic. My biggest phobia, though, is luposlipophobia, which is, of course, the fear of being chased around a kitchen table on newly waxed floors in your socks by timber wolves.

2. It involved shrinking to a size of only a few inches, sneaking into a woman's room, and being used in ungodly ways. I can't say more to avoid violating several federal laws.

That's an interesting question. I'm not exactly sure what the answer is. There was a point in my life when I was watching a movie and listening to the audience laugh at jokes that were telegraphed, obvious, cliched, and not even funny, and I thought to myself "These aren't people - they're sheep, and we're better off without them."

Anytime I hear someone spout an opinion that they're just repeating without understanding, or see someone discriminate against another person for some ridiculously stereotypical prejudice, my opinion of everyone is lowered even more.

Whether it's something as small as confusing "your" or "you're" or as large as thinking all Middle Eastern people are terrorists, it adds up to make me realize that I'm condescending, pretentious, and high maintenance, but at least I'm not a stupid piece of shit who needs to go play in traffic.

HE HAS FOUND US OUT! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Wow, four questions. You're pushing it a bit, aren't you?

1. A dolphin. I hope someday to own a dolphin of my own. They're smart, I think they emote, and what's better than swimming all day long with almost no natural predators?

2. This can be taken a few ways. The word that is my favorite to say all the time is "Avitable", of course. My favorite word that I made up is "woprechaun", which describes an Italian/Irish person like myself. The word that I love to hear other people say is "Yes" as in "Yes, you're right" or "Yes, I'll order your services" or "Yes, I'll do what you say again".

3. My eyes or my smile. And my wife agrees.

This is a good answer to end this post on. Here are your answers, Dave.

1. Favorite series of all time - it's a tie between the Ostrander/Mandrake Martian Manhunter series and the Ennis/McCrea Hitman series. I can't choose. If I had to sell my entire 30,000 book collection, I'd keep those two runs even if I had to sell a kidney.

2. Favorite issue of all time - Flash (Vol 2) #163. Written by Pat McGreal. Wally West saves the lives of Superman, Batman, Green Lantern and Aquaman in the span of a few seconds and sends the Turtle back into the distant past. It's a one-shot, but very clever and a wicked fun read.

3. Favorite comic writer - This is a hard one. Easy answer is Warren Ellis. But I will also read anything that Garth Ennis or Grant Morrison writes. Or Mark Waid. I have no good answer for this one.

4. Favorite comic artist - Probably Scott Kollins (Flash), although Steve Dillon (Preacher) is a close second. And John McCrea (Hitman) and Kevin Maguire (JLI) are close behind that. I don't follow artists, though - if they're on a book, cool, but I'll only pick it up if I like the writer.