I'm making my own, though.
I'm going to call it:
Wednesday Wisdom.
10 things that I know that you might not
1. That movie with Ashley Judd, "Double Jeopardy", is utter bullshit. First of all, if you are convicted of murder and do your time, you do not have license to kill the "murder victim" if they show up alive. Your conviction was for specific circumstances and a specific time and place. Double jeopardy does not apply if you kill them for real. In addition, if the government really wants to get around double jeopardy, they can charge you under federal law, even for the same crime!
2. The Ewoks are not from Endor. They live on the moon of Endor, known as either "Forest Moon" or "Sanctuary Moon".
3. In a pinch, a cord, rope, or even duct tape can substitute for a belt that breaks when you're in the bathroom at work, even if said belt is mandatory to keep your pants from dropping down to your ankles.
4. You cannot grill a frozen pizza. Even if there's been a hurricane and your power is out and you have a nice propane grill, it won't work. Putting it on foil, and closing the lid to the grill so it reaches 400 degrees for 20 minutes will result in a rock-hard, blackened shell covered in soupy cheese and pizza sauce. If you were to eat the soupy cheese and pizza mix with a spoon because you're hungry, plan on spending several hours in the bathroom.
5. Hershey's chocolate syrup spread on a microwaveable beef and cheese burrito is delicious.
6. It is possible to drive a car, even a large one, between two cars on a two-lane road without hitting either of them. Each car has to be far enough to the outside of their lane and your car should fit right through, as long as you drive really, really fast. You might make the people in the other cars poop their pants a little, though.
7. You can never have too much deodorant. When the ensuing zombie apocalypse hits us, some people might have plenty of dried goods and weapons, but at least I'll smell good.
8. Don't ever assume that a woman you don't know is pregnant, even if she looks like she might be.
9. One of my ancestors was such a horrible dictator of a small province in Pakistan that he is now known as the bogeyman there. From Wikipedia: With a ruthless, at times brutal, style of government, Avitabile established order in the province where he became known as Abu Tabela. Summary executions became usual, and it is said that he would have people executed by throwing them from the top of Mahabat Khan's mosque. His iron fist rule over Peshawar has made a place for him in local folklore. Even today unruly children in the city are brought to control by invoking Abu Tabela's name.
10. I'm half-Italian and half-Irish. This makes me a woprechaun.
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