Layer 1:
- Name: Adam Heath Avitable
- Birth date: January 26, 1977
- Birthplace: Some might say that I was created in an unholy lab experiment that combined the DNA of gorillas and humans, and some might say I was actually born in Weymouth.
- Current location: Altamonte Springs, Florida.
- Eyes: Brown, like I like my men.
- Hair colour: See above.
- Height: 6'0"
- Which hand: Right-handed. I am ambidextrous when it comes to bitchslapping, masturbating, and giving the finger.
- Sign: Aquarius
Layer 2:
- Heritage: Woprechaun! Half Italian, Half Irish.
- Shoes: I only own one pair of shoes - black sneakers with red shoelaces.
- Weakness: The unholy power of a buffet!
- Fears: Little children with their backs to you who don't respond when you call their names and approach them.
- Perfect Pizza: Anything with the right amount of grease, sauce, and pepperoni
- Goal: To be known the world over. Notorious or famous - doesn't matter to me.
Layer 3:
- Most overused phrase on IM: Each word I type when I use instant messaging is uniquely suited to that particular conversation.
- First waking thought: Time to work!
- Best physical feature: Smile. Also, my cloven hooves.
Layer 4:
- Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke with Lime
- McDonald’s or Burger King: Either, although I prefer Carl's Jr.
- Single or group dates: Married. If I wasn't, single dates.
- Adidas or Nike: Who cares?
- Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
- Cappucino or Coffee: Neither. I hate coffee in all of its evil forms.
Layer 5:
- Smoke? Never
- Cuss? Some people try to be clever and say things like "Fuck no" or "I would never fucking cuss." Those people can lick my fucking cock and go get fistfucked.
- Sing? Never
- Do you think you’ve been in love? Yes. All the time.
- Want to go to college? I went, graduated, got the T-shirt.
- Liked high school? Yes. It was a fun experience.
- Believe in yourself? Of course. I know I'm the best thing to walk this earth since a man with long hair many years ago. And of course, I'm talking about Jim Morrison.
- Get motion sickness? Occasionally, on big rocking boats. Otherwise, no.
- Think you’re attractive? I'm a hot motherfucker. You know you want to get with this.
- Health freak? Only if by health freak, you mean that I like to test all the unhealthy foods so that I can support further health education.
- Get along with parents? Yup.
- Like thunderstorms? They're awesome. Not as fun as hurricanes to sit through, but pretty fun nonetheless.
- Play an instrument? Skin flute.
Layer 6:
In the past month:
- Drank alcohol? No.
- Smoked? No.
- Done a drug? No.
- Made out? Sure.
- Eaten sushi? Yup.
- Been dumped? No.
- Gone skating No.
- Gone skinny dipping? I plead the fifth.
- Dyed your hair? No.
- Stolen anything? No.
Layer 7:
..ever?
- Played a game that required removal of clothing? Yes. Unfortunately, it was dodgeball in fourth grade, and it was just me and the coach. Damn you for destroying my childhood, Coach Bradley. Damn you.
- Been intoxicated and can’t remember? Yes.
- Been caught doing something? Yes.
- Been called a tease? Yes.
- Got beaten up? Once. Pre-gorillaness.
- Changed who you are to fit in? Nope. I don't care what anyone thinks.
Layer 8:
- Describe your dream wedding? My wedding was perfect. Go here and see pictures!
- How do you want to die? I don't know, but I hope I take most of the world with me first.
- What do you want to do when you grow up? Make millions.
- What country would you like to visit? Oz.
Layer 9:
- Number of people I trust with my life: 1
- Number of CDs I own: 943
- Number of piercings: None.
- Number of tattoos: None.
- Number of times name has been in newspaper: Twice. Once when I won the regional spelling bee and once when quoted in the New York Times as an expert for an article on finding a job.
- Number of scars: A couple that I can think of. I've never really broken anything or had any surgery, so I've been lucky.
- Number of regrets: I wish I hadn't killed that hooker and dumped her body in the dumpster. If I could redo it, I'd go to the swamp so there wouldn't be any evidence.
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