I always liked how Maxim and other magazines do that "By the Numbers" thing in the front of the magazine where they break everything to the basic numbers. So, I decided to try it. Here's the Avitable Halloween Party 2006, by the numbers:
Number of attendees: 45
Cost of liquor: $600
Cost of food: $500
Time of first arrival: 7:15 PM
Time of last departure: 8:00 AM
Time of last departure from somebody who didn't crash at our house: 2:30 AM
Cost of Halloween decorations: $600
Time spent putting up decorations: 11 hours
Time spent taking down decorations: 1.5 hours
Number of black sheets hung on walls: 36
Number of thumbtacks used: 250
Number of thumbtacks in my bare feet the next day: 14
Attendees who vomited: 1
Attendees who vomited but then pretended like they didn't but they were being altruistic and only cleaning up someone else's vomit but somehow got it all over themselves even though the bathroom smelled fine before this person went in and smelled like vomit after she left (I know because I was one of the people who used the bathroom immediately prior): 1
Other attendees who vomited after they left: at least 5
Attendees who were not wearing a costume but knew it was mandatory: 1
Attendees who got thrown into the pool for not wearing a costume: 1
Other attendees who didn't wear costumes, but it was okay: 5
Attendees who got their heads shaved before the party: 2
Attendees who got their heads shaved during the party: 1
Number of spills, breaks, and other disruptions: 0
Types of specialty drinks offered: 5
Huge Goldschlager bottles consumed: 2
Huge Bailey's bottles consumed: 2
Huge Absolute bottles consumed: 2
Crown Royal bottles consumed: 1
Other bottles of liquor fully consumed: 12
Mini Filet Mignons consumed: 60
Pigs in blankets consumed: 48
Crabcakes consumed: 60
Quiches consumed: 60
Spring rolls consumed: 24
Bags of chips consumed: 4
Amount of food I got to eat: 1 mini filet mignon
Attendees who usually don't drink but did: at least 2
Percentage increase in their friendliness as a result: 600%
Attendees I didn't even know: 10
Creepy attendees that nobody knew: 1
Attendees in drag: 1/2
Number of crotch shots: 43
Number of chest shots: 2
Attendees in costumes a bit too small for them: 2
Number of times that Steve's peepee was touched (he likes pizza): at least 4
Falls: 0
Injuries: 0
Deaths: 0
Number of people who will return next year: hopefully 100%!
Now, follow this link for the full post to see the pictures.
Click here for all 200 photos. Here are the highlights, though:
Our bloody pool:
Other decorations:
Some of the great costumes:
Charlie Brown:
Sally Anne:
Ghostbuster:
Mexican wrestler:
Hawaiian Punch:
Angel from Dogma:
Goth fairy and Gypsy:
Wrestlers:
Beauty (aka car accident victim) and the Beast:
My wife as Morticia Addams:
Myself as Steve Irwin (doing a typical excited "Crikey!" face):
Hal Jordan (aka Green Lantern):
Some dick showed up:
Green Hornet and Kato:
Dr. Livingston, Dr. McDreamy, two vampires, a vampire dog, and Cleopatra:
The zombie-killing family:
Cowardly Lion:
The retard clone from Multiplicity (She touched my peepee, Steve):
The non-costumed one:
And finally, a few random photos:
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