Back to geeks

Ok, after my geek discussion, I said that I was going to write a post explaining why geeks are worth it. And I was, but then I felt like I'd be plagiarizing an existing list that explains exactly that. So, instead, I've decided to just quote that and then give my opinions on each point.

From Craigslist:

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

This is definitely true. Unless you're being an idiot woman who thinks that if a guy calls you he's violating some stupid fucking relationship rule. You deserve whomever or whatever you end up with.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

Of course, this is assuming that you aren't savvy enough to do it yourself. But if you are, you're probably already aware why geeks are worth it.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

I don't know how much I agree with this one. Many geeks that I know have a hard time being romantic, but they will try really hard, which is better than going by the numbers like many men do.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

Do you like them the size of a gorilla? Do you like them if they don't have to worry about bullies because they can easily demolish anything in their way, but they still giggle about Superman? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

Now, brains doesn't necessarily mean erudition, literacy, or any type of ability with wordplay. But intelligence in one area is better than retardation on all levels.

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

I agree wholeheartedly.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

Here's another divergence. I don't think a geek is going to make a particularly effective sexual partner - they're probably a bit clumsy and sweaty about it. However, they're also more likely to look at the relationship analytically and realize that the intimacy is very important and sometimes even more important than sex sometimes.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

Damn straight.

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind...”

I agree. Even if they imbibe, most geeks don't enjoy hanging out a bar. The point of going out is to do something. If you just want to hang out, why not do that at home. I'd also add a corollary: Most geeks don't like strip clubs. To be honest, I wouldn't go to one unless my wife forced me to go to one with her. I think they're creepy and disgusting, and I'd rather stay at home and watch TV.

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

Having independent lives at the same time that you are in a relationship is very important. I have friends who feel like their significant other should have to accompany them to every mundane activity they do - it makes no sense, and all it does is make the s.o. resentful.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

They might not be jerks, but many of them will be elitist regarding many of their pursuits. This doesn't mean that they're an asshole about everything, but they will have disdain for people who don't understand those things for which they have a passion.

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

Very true. They're trusting and not shallow in many respects.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

See #5.

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

Once again, see my previous points about this one.

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

This is probably the most accurate statement from the whole list. Geeks care about their significant others. If they are going to take time from their interests to spend with someone from the opposite sex, that person will have to be worthwhile. There's no point for them to waste their time with meaningless one-night stands or short-term relationships. If they are interested in you, they care about you. And many of them know that they might not have many chances at a good relationship, so they're less likely to be commitment-phobic.

I know that many of the women who read my blogs have dated, are married to, or otherwise have relationships with us geeks, and I would guess that many of them would agree to several, if not all, of the above assertions. If you are a reader who hasn't taken a chance on a geek near you, try now. Before it's too late and he's a billionaire software developer who can have any woman alive.

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