Now, sitting there, look down. If you're a woman, you'll of course see your funbags. The men will see hair on their chest. Now some of the women might have a little hair on their chest and some of the men will probably have funbags, but that's okay. Just follow along the best you can.
Let's get a little further down to the gut. Even if you're a skinny little crack whore, sitting down at a computer is going to give you a little roll. Doesn't your belly button look like a mouth? You should draw a face on it, and walk around making your stomach talk. But we'll have to save that for a later time.
Move a bit down. Into what I call the "free play zone". The men will have a penis, hopefully, and the women won't, hopefully. But women, I want you to imagine a penis down there, and below that, two sacs that are hairy, wrinkly, and feel kinda weird.
Now imagine that these sacs are sensitive, and any sharp motion against them will cause you to gasp in pain and fall over on the ground. Can you imagine that, girls? Now, men, of course you know what I'm talking about.
Now, close your eyes and imagine laying in bed. At your feet is your dog, who is dreaming about chasing a squirrel or a rabbit or a cat. And then, visualize this dog kicking her feet four times in rapid succession as hard as she can right into these little sacs while you laid dead asleep.
Welcome to my morning. Happy Fucking Thursday.