When I was in law school, I walked out of the master bedroom in the apartment I shared with my soon-to-be wife and found five gift wrapped packages sitting on our entertainment center. One was a long, rectangular box and the other four were small rectangular packages.
It was January 30th - two weeks from Valentine's Day, and I had been dropping significant hints about our (my) need to get a DVD player. One look at these presents and I was thrilled. She got the hint! I couldn't wait to see which DVDs would be the first to pop the cherry on the brand new DVD player. Back to the Future? Terminator 2? Die Hard? The Princess Diaries? Bambi?
The two weeks go by rapidly and the 14th has arrived. After a great dinner at The Melting Pot, eating our fill of fondue and drinking tasty bubbly, we return to our apartment to open our gifts. I was excited as a little puppy. This doesn't mean I kept peeing on the floor - that's another story for another time. I was, however, tapping my foot on the floor at quite a tempo.
With a grin (I'll always look back on that day knowing it was an evil grin), my wife hands me the presents and lets me tear the paper off. Twelve seconds later, I'm left holding the contents of my awesome Valentine's Day presents: A vacuum cleaner and four vacuum cleaner bags.
Looking back, I have realized the upside to that fateful holiday. I have an eternal guilt trip that I can give my wife at any moment. This means that even if I were to give a bad gift during a holiday or birthday, I can always say, "Well, it could have been a vacuum cleaner," and she loses all right to complain about it in any way. So in that way, it was the best present ever.
Filed in: avitable, avitable-isms, relationships, valentine's day, humor
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