This is how much I know about football.

I've seen Necessary Roughness and Remember the Titans. I fast-forwarded through Any Given Sunday.

I used to laugh at the SNL sketch talking about 'da Bears and 'da Bulls.

I threw a football once when I was 12.

Other than that, I'm completely flummoxed. And apathetic. At the very least they could add spikes, or the occasional land mine to make it more interesting. What's the point of watching someone move a ball from one side of a yard to another? If there were random explosions, or cannons firing from the sidelines, that would be something to watch.

So off I go to a Superbowl party. And go team!